My Mother, the Reformed Jew

My mother, Pamela, identifies as a practicing, reformed Jew.  She goes to synagogue on high holy days, has an intimate, personal relationship with God, prays regularly, and practices traditions and customs.  She has not always been like this though.  My grandfather, David, was raised an Orthodox Jew in Poland. David resented his upbringing because his parents tried to force beliefs and rules on him that he did not agree with. Because of this, David disassociated himself with being Jewish.  My mother told me that he felt guilty that he disappointed his parents by completely dropping the religion, but he just did not like all the laws and limitations of being an Orthodox Jew.

David immigrated out of Poland for Los Angeles with my grandmother Rose. There, they started a family. Because of David’s resentment of Judaism, my mother was raised in a household where faith was taboo.  The only time my mother ever went to temple was on the high holy days, by herself or with her friends. Her parents were not proud of their faith and they were not willing to go out of their way to get my mom in touch with her heritage. She didn’t like that they told her how to think. They didn’t want her to be Jewish, but she decided that she wanted to be Jewish.

After my mom had my brothers and me, she felt it was her obligation to pass down these traditions and get our family back in touch with our heritage. She did not like that her parents didn’t provide her with a foundation of belief when she was younger, and she did not want that for her children. She wanted to have kids who were proud of where they came from. She wanted us to have an identity. She felt like if we had an identity as proud as Judaism, we would end up better off. She also felt like she had a responsibility to keep the traditions and customs of Judaism alive.  Judaism is the longest standing religion to this day, but less and less people are classifying themselves as Jewish each year.  Due to this, she felt like it was her obligation to raise her children Jewish.

My mother loves the Jewish traditions and customs, but she wants to practice it in a modern setting. When I asked her about her beliefs and practices she replied, “I believe in god, but not a man, more of a universal spirit. I pray and try to thanks god for all that we have. I go to temple on high holy days like Yom Kippur, Rosh Hashanah, and Passover.”  God is important to my mom, but she doesn’t care to think who he is. She’d rather believe that God is everywhere and everything, helping people accomplish their goals and helping people in times of distress.  Praying is also a very important aspect to my mom.  She feels that our family is very blessed and her prayers make sure we remain that way.  Although my mom does not go to synagogue every week, she still attends on the most holy days.  

My mom is really proud of her decision to remain true to her Jewish roots. She helps out at the temple whenever she can, has won an award for the best koogle in Ventura County, and even buys Matzah when it’s not Passover.  She even set up an annual Hannukah party with her three brothers and their children so that the traditions within our family stay alive.  My mother is the embodiment of a reformed Jew.  She loves the traditions and culture of the religion, believes in God, participates in religious activities, but does not abide by the all old rules and limitations.